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Thursday 31 December 2015
Wednesday 30 December 2015
Whiteboards Are Remarkable
I hate Russian dolls. They’re just so full of themselves.
I asked my North Korean friend how he liked living over there. He said he couldn’t complain.
The other day my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
I haven’t slept for three days; because that would be too long.
The first time I got a universal remote control I thought to myself, “This changes everything”.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a ban from the local zoo.
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If it doesn’t come back home, what you’ve lost is a pigeon.
I asked my North Korean friend how he liked living over there. He said he couldn’t complain.
The other day my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
I haven’t slept for three days; because that would be too long.
The first time I got a universal remote control I thought to myself, “This changes everything”.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a ban from the local zoo.
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If it doesn’t come back home, what you’ve lost is a pigeon.
Tuesday 29 December 2015
Monday 28 December 2015
Friday 25 December 2015
Thursday 24 December 2015
Wednesday 23 December 2015
Tuesday 22 December 2015
Friday 18 December 2015
Thursday 17 December 2015
Wednesday 16 December 2015
Tuesday 15 December 2015
Monday 14 December 2015
Weekend Break
A
Manchester United fan goes into a travel agents and says, "I'm looking for
a weekend away in England, but I don't know where to go?" The travel agent
says, "You can't beat Bournemouth at this time of year."