A man takes his wife to get tested.
Two days later, he gets a call from the lab.
Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you that your wife's test results were mixed up with another patient's. We're not sure if she has COVID-19 or Alzheimer's disease.
Man: So, what am I supposed to do?
Doctor: Take her for a long walk and leave her. If she finds her way back home, don't open the door.
Do not let supermarket staff take your temperature by scanning your forehead, it actually erases your memory. I went in to Tesco's for lettuce, tomatoes and cucumber and instead came out with chocolate and wine.
Has COVID-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time? You may be entitled to condensation.
Ambulance chasers' adverts coming soon: Were you asked to work during the COVID-19 pandemic. You may be entitled to compensation.
As scientists say testing and tracing is key to schools reopening, kids say they're happy to do the tracing but would like to skip the tests. - HIGNFY
During the Middle Ages they celebrated the end of the plague with wine and orgies. Does anyone know whether we have anything similar planned when this one ends?
I'm on fire with the ladies at the moment. I went into six bars yesterday and in all six I was asked for my name and mobile number. Haven't heard from any of them yet though.
