I went to see my new solicitor today and asked him what his fee was.
He said "I charge £100 for three questions".
I said "That's awfully steep, isn't it?"
"Yes" he said "Now what's your final question?"
I went to see my new solicitor today and asked him what his fee was.
He said "I charge £100 for three questions".
I said "That's awfully steep, isn't it?"
"Yes" he said "Now what's your final question?"
My father was a masochist who liked to have an ice cold shower every morning.
So he didn't.
I went to HMV earlier and asked the guy behind the counter if they had any Run DMC records.
He said "Walk this way".
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
I left my last girlfriend because she wouldn't stop counting.
I often wonder what she's up to now.
Breaking News
NoVax DjoCovid is the first tennis player in history to be eliminated from the Australian Open after missing only two shots.
I phoned up the fishing helpline today.
I said "I'm really hopeless at fishing and need some tips".
The man said "Okay, can you hold the line?"
I said "No".
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
I love red wine.
In fact, I've just joined a wine club.
We meet at 9 o'clock every morning in the park.
It's fun watching the newbies in the gym in January as they try to figure out how everything works.
Yesterday, for example, I was most amused to see some fool on the treadmill putting a water bottle in the Pringles holder.