Threesome

From Bliss

From Reality Check

There are three unwritten rules in life:

 

1.                                                          

2.                                                          

3.                                                          

What I Did In The Summer Holidays

From OffTheMark

Why can keyboards never sleep?

Because they have two shifts.

Octotwister

From Scott Johnston Cartoons

What do humans and octopuses have in common?

Two sets of forearms.

Bored

From Mark Lynch

I was so bored that I memorized six pages of a dictionary.

I learned next to nothing.

ROFLMB

From JimBenton

“Do you really have to lick the knife?” she asked frowning.

“Sorry, force of habit!” I chuckled.

“Lots of people do it though, don’t they?”

“Yes, but not during surgery, doctor.”

Poor Picnic Packing

From Bliss

Sweet dreams are made of cheese

Who am I to diss-a-Brie?

I cheddar the world and the feta cheese,

everybody’s looking for Stilton.

Hair BnB

From TheArgyleSweater

Yesterday I put a giant map of the world up on the kitchen wall and gave my wife a dart.

I told her wherever it lands is where we go on holiday next year.

It looks like we're going to be spending three weeks behind the fridge.

Yakini

From Scott Metzger

What kind of creature do you get when you mix a yak and a lion?

A maney-yak.