Some Gags

From OffTheMark I went to see my new solicitor today and asked him what his fee was. He said "I charge £100 for three questions". ...

Don't worry about your tv and your phone spying on you. Your vacuum has been gathering dirt on you for years.

From Speedbump My three favourite things are eating my family and not using commas.

From OffTheMark From The Argyle Sweater My father was a masochist who liked to have an ice cold shower every morning. So he didn't....

From Reality Check I went to HMV earlier and asked the guy behind the counter if they had any Run DMC records. He said "Walk this ...

From Rhymes With Orange I don't eat croissants because I've got eczema and I never quite know when I've finished.

From CAW4HY Everyone scoffed when I said I'd be a cook. They're not scoffing now.