Camouflage

From Ben Chen

Whenever anyone at the gym asks if I can spot them, I always reply 'Who said that?'  

Flying Pigs

"You have a reminder set for 5pm today," my phone said.

"A reminder? What is it?" I asked.

"It's a notification to ensure you don't forget something, but that's not important right now," the phone replied.

Then I remembered I'd left it in Airplane mode.

Outside The Cocktail Bar

From Will McPhail

I love the look on people's faces, standing at the bus stop soaked in the rain as I drive past . . .

. . . it's partly why I became a bus driver.

Useful Driving Test Addition

From Bizarro

On my first day as a delivery driver for Mr Kipling I had to do an emergency stop.

Fortunately the lorry had exceedingly good brakes!"

Never Enough

From War and Peas

I felt a bit greedy when I treated myself to a new boat.

But I couldn't resist, there was a sail on.

Providing

From HeyBuddy

Four years ago I was doing trollies at Sainsbury's on a Monday night.

I left, worked hard, and got a degree from the University of Sheffield.

Now I'm doing trollies at Waitrose on a Friday night.

Never give up.

Training Wheel

From Rhymes With Orange

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?

Attire