Some Gags

From Speedbump My wife bought me a bread making machine for Christmas. So far, I've made a baguette, a bloomer and a tiger loaf. ...

From Jon Adams / Cityclops What did Adam say on the night before Christmas? It's Christmas Eve.

From Rhymes With Orange Breaking News Tampax have announced that they'll be replacing the strings with tinsel. But, just for th...

From Four Eyes My wife left me yesterday because she said I was too addicted to football. I was devastated . . . I'd been with her ...

Wow, he's setting off early this year! My new car has a switch for pretty much everything. There's even one that says 'rear ...

From OffTheMark I got upset when I couldn't find any scissors to cut a coupon out of a newspaper. I was reduced to tears!

From OffTheMark I was given an invisibility suit for Christmas. I can't see myself wearing it though.

Actually, Frankincense was the name of the perfume's creator.

From Jon Adams / Cityclops Don't forget to buy enough food for 27 days today as the shops will be shut for 48 hours over Christmas.

On Christmas Eve last year I told my wife I was popping to the shops. She said, "While you're there, can you get ...

From Buni Comic 'Tis the season where we say 'tis instead of it's.

From xkcd I've decided to form a choir for this Christmas. So far, it's just Dean, Don, Mary, Lee and I.

From Reality Check It's officially the season where you've got to ask your mum whether you're allowed to eat food or if it'...

From Break of Day Santa played a round of golf this morning to help him relax before his big day and he hit a birdie. It was a partridg...

From Bliss Does anyone know where the Tesco staff Christmas party is being held this year? I've been using the self-checkout all ye...

From Safely Endangered I got a Microsoft advent calendar this year. If you open too many windows at once they all close again for n...

From Loose Parts I got home today and all the doors were wide open and everything was gone. What sort of person does a thing like that to so...

From Bliss I managed to get all my Christmas shopping done this morning. I hope that everyone likes Halloween costumes.

From The Jenkins The jumper that I got for Christmas kept picking up static electricity. So, I took it back to the shop it came from to see ...