Chat-Up Mishap

From Speedbump

So let me get this straight.

I go to the supermarket and buy some sliced ham wrapped in plastic, a loaf of bread in a plastic bag, 4 pints of milk in a plastic bottle and a plastic bottle of ketchup.

And they won’t give me a plastic bag to carry it home because the plastic bag is bad for the environment?

Caring Community

From Bizarro

Today at the park

Saw a six foot tall pigeon

Now that's a high coo!

Reward

From Don't Hit Save

I read that taking your bike to work is good for the environment.

So, I thought why not?

I'm not using that roof rack for anything else!

Directions

From Joseph Nowak

Travel Update:

Reports are coming in that a lorry carrying snooker equipment has overturned on the A69 near Carlisle,

Motorists are advised to avoid the area if possible as there are cues in both directions.

Solution

I entered a competition to find the most considerate lover.

I came second.

Lure

From Buni Comic

My mate took his Grandad to one of those fancy Health Spas where tiny

little fish eat all the dead skin.

It cost him £65, but it was a lot cheaper than a cremation.

Home Alone

From GoodBearComics

Him: I saw you walking your dogs yesterday.

Her: They’re not my dogs, they’re my sister’s.

Him: Your sisters sure are ugly.