Suicidal Thoughts

From AThirdThing

“Doctor, those pills you gave me are working well but they are making walk like a crab”.

“Oh, that’ll be the side effects”

Hypochondriacs Anonymous

From Cornered

Which disease are hypochondriacs sure that they don't have?

Hypochondria

This Season's Fashion

From Buni Comic

Why is Pride month in the summer, rather than during the autumn season?

Because the Pride comes before the fall.

Better Batteries

From Wumo

From Wumo

I had to remove the battery from my carbon monoxide detector.

The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick.

Threesome

From Bliss

From Reality Check

There are three unwritten rules in life:

 

1.                                                          

2.                                                          

3.                                                          

What I Did In The Summer Holidays

From OffTheMark

Why can keyboards never sleep?

Because they have two shifts.

Octotwister

From Scott Johnston Cartoons

What do humans and octopuses have in common?

Two sets of forearms.