Breakthrough

From Mark Lynch

The first house I rented had a ceiling that was only 4 feet above the floor.

I couldn’t stand living there.

Fortune Teller Interview

From Twonk Comics

Fortune Teller Buying Clothes

Shop Assistant: How about this one?

Fortune Teller: That shirt is too small

Shop Assistant: You didn't even try it on

Fortune Teller: I'm a medium

Efficiency

From Dinos and Comics

My grandma quietly changed her hair colour while taking a nap.

She dyed peacefully in her sleep.

Morning Activity

From Anjali Srivastava

Why can't you keep score in Afghanistan?

Because of the tally-ban!

Never Satisfied

From Bliss

My sex change operation from male to female went really well.

It was so successful, I'm still trying to reverse out of the hospital car park.

Seems Wrong

From Spudtoons

I bought a vegan friend a cookbook as a present.

Unfortunately, he said that he couldn't accept it as it was leather bound and was therefore too heavy for him to lift.

Snowball Gets Even

From OffTheMark

Pets only like us because they have Stockholm Syndrome.