What Animals Have Taught Me

 

From JimBenton

What do you call a baby manatee?

A boyatee

Beaver Bathtime

From The Argyle Sweater

I hate hotel bath towels.

Sometimes, they are so thick and fluffy that I can't even close my suitcase.

Quiet Business

From Leigh Rubin

What do you call an Irishman who bounces off walls?

Rick O'Shey

Early Departure

From Mark Lynch

Why can't T-Rexes clap their hands?

Because they're extinct.

Carbon Dating

Three years ago, I asked my crush to go out with me.

Last week, I asked her to marry me.

She said no both times.

What Happens When You Watch The News

From OffTheMark

My wife is threatening to kick me out of the house because of my obsession with acting like a news anchor.

More on this after the break.

Easy Decision

From Pardon My Planet

Housework is boring, and it is futile.

You make the bed; you do the dishes.

Six months later, you've got to start all over again.