Fools

From At Random Comics

Today is the perfect day to propose because if they say no, you can just pretend it was a prank.

Also, does anybody want to buy a ring?

Poor Planning

From Reality Check

From Speedbump

If you're American when you go into the toilet

And American when you leave the toilet

What are you whilst you're using the toilet?

Eurapeeing.

Turtle Soup

From Joseph Nowak

It's the start of a brand new week, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.

Spring Forward

From Stephen Collins

It took me ages to change all the clocks in my house.

There's an hour of my life I'll never get back.

Whack-a-Mole Sales

From Andertoons

I gave my long-standing friend some advice…

"Sit down!"

Decision Making

From Loose Parts

I bought a self-assembly bookcase but it didn't work so I had to make it myself.

What Animals Have Taught Me

 

From JimBenton

What do you call a baby manatee?

A boyatee