Wednesday, 11 February 2026

Street Crime


From Pardon My Planet

Took my son out for his first pint last night.

Got him a Heineken.

He didn't like it so I had it.

Got him a Carlsberg.

He didn't like that either, so I had that as well.

Same with the Cider and Guinness.

By the time we got to the whisky I could hardly push the pram.

Tuesday, 10 February 2026

Proud Dad


I managed to build a car entirely out of washing machine parts.

Tomorrow, I'm taking it out for a spin.

Friday, 30 January 2026

Applying Cream

From Faceless

If anyone wants any leaflets about the treatment of haemorrhoids, let me know.

I've got piles!

Thursday, 29 January 2026

Dizzy Heights

From smbc

I was at a climbing centre the other day, but would you believe someone had stolen all the grips from the wall.

Honestly, you just couldn't make it up!

Wednesday, 28 January 2026

Robocat

From Rhymes With Orange

Him: "We should go out for a coffee sometime."

Her: "How about 10 tomorrow?"

Him: "No, that's too many, I'd never get to sleep afterwards."

Tuesday, 27 January 2026

Monday, 26 January 2026