Crocodile Smile?

From Andertoons

Did you know King Henry VIII had an insatiable sweet tooth and was particularly fond of honey?

It's why two of his wives were bee-headed.

What Everyone With A Student Loan Needs

From The Jenkins

A lorry has shed its load of electrical goods on the M57 in Liverpool.

Police said the road will be closed for about 5 minutes.

The Cycle

From Remi Lascault

Why did the baker have brown hands?

He needed a poo.

Plaque Widow

From The Argyle Sweater

My dentist asked me how long it had been since I flossed

I said “you should know that, you were there”.

Reorganisation

From Dilbert

Every time I go to work, I hide in what I think is the best place available.

Because, I heard, that good employees are hard to find.

Portraits

From JimBenton

I just got back from the barbers.

I had a number two all over.

He was livid.

Fishing

From Ben Chen

Son: “How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?”
Dad: “I don’t know; how many?”
Son: “Ten tickles.”
Dad: “Yeah, but only the male octopus is ticklish.”
Son: “Huh?”
Dad: “Yeah, the females are not ticklish at all; just the males. You know how you can tell if an octopus is a male octopus?”
Son: “No; how?
Dad: “Test tickles.”
Son: “that’s inappropriate.”