GMail Auto Response

From smbc

I’ve just had a letter delivered confirming that I have secured a job with the Royal Mail.

I start last Monday.

Old Jokes

  

    

   

There's a rumour going round that Spandau Ballet are going to re-release one of their old singles.

I hope it's not True.

The View

From Tyson Cole

Head & Shoulders should make a body wash called Knees & Toes.

Hell Will Freeze Over Before She's Satisfied

From Wumo

Argentina is surprisingly cold.

In fact, it's bordering on Chile!

Get Together

From Mark Lynch

My wife texted me this morning, she said, “Your great”.

I texted her back, “No, you’re great”.

She’s been happy all day since.

I think I should correct her grammar more often.

Breakfast TV

From Twonk Comics

One red card, two penalties, five goals, eleven minutes of extra time and a blood pressure too high to count.

Probably beats the usual two Weetabix and a shower before the working week starts.

Taking Phone Calls At Work

From Bliss

"Hello, is that the cricket club?"

"Yes."

"Could I speak to Mike please?"

"I'm sorry, he's in at the moment. I'll get him to call you back when he's out!"