Why You Don't Divulge Your Job

From Speedbump

A man at the fair was giving good advice for £1

I gave him £1 and he told me, "stop wasting money."

White Bread

From Loading Artist

What is a duck’s drug of choice?

Quack

How do you legalize Quack?

You start by passing a bill.

Memory Loss Mattress

From Bizarro

From Waynovision

"What do we want!?"

"A cure for amnesia!"

"What did we want?"

Suicidal Thoughts

From AThirdThing

“Doctor, those pills you gave me are working well but they are making walk like a crab”.

“Oh, that’ll be the side effects”

Hypochondriacs Anonymous

From Cornered

Which disease are hypochondriacs sure that they don't have?

Hypochondria

This Season's Fashion

From Buni Comic

Why is Pride month in the summer, rather than during the autumn season?

Because the Pride comes before the fall.

Better Batteries

From Wumo

From Wumo

I had to remove the battery from my carbon monoxide detector.

The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick.