Big Data

From smbc

It blows my mind that NASA is able to receive data from 4.67 billion miles away, but I lose the wifi signal when I walk into the kitchen.

Who's The Good Boy?

From Reality Check

I find it really embarrassing when guests visit my house and my dog sniffs their crotch.

Especially as he's a chihuahua and I have to lift him up.

Opportunity

From Portuguese Geese

Guess who I bumped into at the opticians.

Everyone.

Good Parent

From Little Porpoise

"I bumped into your wife yesterday."

"Oh, where?"

"You know the cafe opposite that Swingers club?"

"Yes."

"Opposite that cafe!"

May The Fourth Be With You

From Rhymes With Orange

Her name was Yoda

A showgirl she was.

 

Brian Bilston

Dawn Chorus Day

From Stephen Collins

Observer Effect Day

From The Jenkins

My geography teacher asked me if I could name a country with no R in it.

I said, “No way”.