ROFLMB

From JimBenton

“Do you really have to lick the knife?” she asked frowning.

“Sorry, force of habit!” I chuckled.

“Lots of people do it though, don’t they?”

“Yes, but not during surgery, doctor.”

Poor Picnic Packing

From Bliss

Sweet dreams are made of cheese

Who am I to diss-a-Brie?

I cheddar the world and the feta cheese,

everybody’s looking for Stilton.

Hair BnB

From TheArgyleSweater

Yesterday I put a giant map of the world up on the kitchen wall and gave my wife a dart.

I told her wherever it lands is where we go on holiday next year.

It looks like we're going to be spending three weeks behind the fridge.

Yakini

From Scott Metzger

What kind of creature do you get when you mix a yak and a lion?

A maney-yak.

CamoCon

From The Jenkins

I just received my ticket to the Fibonacci convention!

I hear this year is going to be as big as the last 2 put together.

Human Emotion

From smbc

I got really emotional at the petrol pump this morning.

I don't know why but I just started filling up.

Goldilocks Epilogue

From Wrong Hands

It's called 'Getting your guns out' because you have the right to bare arms.