While The Cat's Away

From Strange Brew

I Like To Count Backwards On Wednesdays

 

I like to count backwards on Wednesdays,

It's something that I’ve always done,

I start at a thousand and twenty,

and stop at a hundred and one.

 

I like to count backwards on Wednesdays,

As a hobby it makes me unique,

It's something that gives me an interest in life

And I find it helps break up the week.

 

When I first began counting backwards,

My troubles and woes disappeared,

A friend of mine says he counts sideways,

But he's always been a bit weird.

 

I like to count backwards on Wednesdays,

It's good for both spirit and mind,

Someone asked if I’d do it on Thursdays,

Suffice it to say I declined.

 

I like to count backwards on Wednesdays,

And I hope you now understand why,

If you don't I can't help any further.

I've another appointment - goodbye.

 

John Dredge

Crocodile Smile?

From Andertoons

Did you know King Henry VIII had an insatiable sweet tooth and was particularly fond of honey?

It's why two of his wives were bee-headed.

What Everyone With A Student Loan Needs

From The Jenkins

A lorry has shed its load of electrical goods on the M57 in Liverpool.

Police said the road will be closed for about 5 minutes.

The Cycle

From Remi Lascault

Why did the baker have brown hands?

He needed a poo.

Plaque Widow

From The Argyle Sweater

My dentist asked me how long it had been since I flossed

I said “you should know that, you were there”.

Reorganisation

From Dilbert

Every time I go to work, I hide in what I think is the best place available.

Because, I heard, that good employees are hard to find.

Portraits

From JimBenton

I just got back from the barbers.

I had a number two all over.

He was livid.