It Snowed

From JimBenton

The local council is gritting the roads like there's snow tomorrow.

Headless Love

From The Argyle Sweater

From Mark Lynch

Why was the dieting Roman so thrilled?

His toga size went from L to XL.

Trap

From Leigh Rubin

Elvis, my pet mouse, has just died.

He was caught in a trap.

Lift Buttons

From OffTheMark

My wife has just come tumbling down the stairs.

I warned her about wearing that slinky nightdress.

Metamorphosis

From OffTheMark

On her wedding night a bride says to her husband, "I must confess dear, I used to be a hooker".

He says, "That's a bit of a shock, but I must confess, I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it."

She replies, "Well, my name was Nigel and I used to play for Wigan."

The Road Less Travelled

From Bliss

This morning my wife called to tell me that she saw a fox on the way to work.

I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work.

She hung up on me.

Loving Spiders

From Break of Day

For Valentine's Day my wife said she wanted to be wooed so I booked us two tickets on a ghost train.