Took my son out for his first pint last night.
Got him a Heineken.
He didn't like it so I had it.
Got him a Carlsberg.
He didn't like that either, so I had that as well.
Same with the Cider and Guinness.
By the time we got to the whisky I could hardly push the pram.
I managed to build a car entirely out of washing machine parts.
Tomorrow, I'm taking it out for a spin.
If anyone wants any leaflets about the treatment of haemorrhoids, let me know.
I've got piles!
I was at a climbing centre the other day, but would you believe someone had stolen all the grips from the wall.
Honestly, you just couldn't make it up!
Him: "We should go out for a coffee sometime."
Her: "How about 10 tomorrow?"
Him: "No, that's too many, I'd never get to sleep afterwards."
I bought my friends an elephant for their room.
They said thank you.
I said don't mention it.
