Bird Chef

From At Random Comics

Calling it a refrigerator implies that everything in it has already been fridgerated once before.

Let's Play

From OffTheMark

My 5-year-old son found videos meant for adults only . . .

. . . but he couldn't understand the advanced calculus lectures from my university, so he stopped watching.

Attraction

From Mark Lynch

The Wi-Fi at home has been broken all weekend so I had to talk to my wife.

To my surprise, I learnt that she no longer works at Woolworths.

Johann Sebastian Bark

From Bliss

A man answers his door and finds a piano tuner waiting on the step.

“Can I help” says the man, “I haven't ordered a piano tuner”.

“I know you haven't” replies the piano tuner, “Your neighbours did for you”.

Tik Tok

I had a nightmare last night that my Tik Tok account was deleted

It was scary, because for a second, I thought I had a Tik Tok account.

Dumb Painters

From Jim Shoenbill

An artist has a 6 year old child who also likes to draw.

His child drew a horse.

The artist told him, "You drew the horse wrong."

The child replied, "How did I draw it wrong?"

The artist said, "Why does the horse have wings?"

The child replied, "Why can't it have wings?"

The artist said, "It isn't a horse if it has wings."

The child replied, "Then why did you call it a horse?"

Where Christopher Robin Played

From The Argyle Sweater

Why does Piglet always smell so bad?

Because Piglet is always playing with Pooh.