Mother's Day Begins

From Scott Johnston Cartoons

You're Toast Mate

From Buni Comic

My wife was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the t-shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!"

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!"

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"

She explained, "The egg timer's broken."

Pacpie

I love pie.

I could eat it 22/7

Pre-Voyage Safety Announcement

From Mark Lynch

The more I get to know people, the more I realise why Noah only let animals onto his ark.

Ideal Dinner Date

From Twonk Comics

Date: "What do you do?"

Me: *holds up menu* "You just choose a meal from this book of food"

Be Honest

From Faceless

No man has ever won a game of, "Notice anything different about me?"

ReBoot

From smbc

I've donated sperm so often that I get turned on by those plastic cups.

Also, I'm banned from Tupperware parties.