I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me, "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
With the football season suspension due to the corona virus, I've decided to talk to my wife.
She has told me she has been made redundant . . . from Woolworths.
Latest purchase limits placed on shops, in light of the Coronavirus due to panic buying;
ASDA: 2 hand sanitisers and a 4 pack of toilet rolls.
TESCO: 1 hand sanitiser, 500g of rice and 4 pack of toilet rolls.
WAITROSE: 1 lobster, 6 quails' eggs and 100g of Foie Gras.
ALDI: 1 MIG welder, 1 pink sports bra, 2 trumpets and a wetsuit.
Because of panic buying I've run out of toilet paper, so I'm now using lettuce leaves.... I've a feeling today is just gonna be the tip of the iceberg.
I keep singing "Come Fly With Me", "Moon River and "New York, New York".
I've got Croonervirus.
Last night I thought I had a case of Corona, but there were only 5 bottles left in the box.
When you start to work from home but miss the daily commute:
