Never Satisfied

From Bliss

My sex change operation from male to female went really well.

It was so successful, I'm still trying to reverse out of the hospital car park.

Opportunity

From Portuguese Geese

Guess who I bumped into at the opticians.

Everyone.

Hazard Ahead

From Looks Good On Paper

Q: Where do you weigh a pie?

A: Somewhere over the rainbow!

Bad Dog

From Speedbump

Some girl has stolen my phone and keeps taking naked selfies of herself.

It's getting out of hand, my photos backup file is getting full of them now.

Can someone help me track her down please?

I need to give her the charger before the phone runs out of power.

Under Pressure

From In Otter News

Q: How Does An Otter Drive To Work?

A: In His Otter-Mobile

Road Safety

From Bliss

I was driving towards a village and, I'll admit it, I thought I was going a bit fast. But then one of those auto road signs flashed up 87mph, and spookily enough, that was exactly the speed I was travelling at. So hey, I figured I was OK.

Teenage Drivers

From Speedbump

Seventeen year old: "Wow, OMG! Like, this game is just so realistic man."

Driving Instructor: "Pull over immediately sir."

Worse Than Windows - Better Than A Crash

From Bizarro

Reverse Driving

 

From Waynovision