I noticed that on my tv remote control there was a button labelled "Cinema Surround Sound".
I pressed it.
All of a sudden, a voice came from behind me saying, "Move your head, I can't see."
Showing posts with label Moderately Confused. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Moderately Confused. Show all posts
Tuesday, 8 October 2024
Friday, 30 June 2023
Friday, 10 June 2022
Revolutionary Diet
A whale swims all day, only consumes fish and water, and is fat.
A rabbit only eats vegetables, runs and hops all day long, and only lives 5 years.
Meanwhile a tortoise doesn't run and does nothing energetic, yet it lives for 450 years.
And you tell me to eat well and exercise! I don't think so.
Friday, 24 December 2021
Tuesday, 28 September 2021
Hardship
My wife phoned me bawling her eyes out earlier.
She sobbed "I've got something to tell you".
I said "What's wrong? Why are you so upset?"
She said "I've flooded the kitchen".
I said "Wow, how long have you been crying?"
Friday, 25 December 2020
Thursday, 24 December 2020
Naughty or Nice or . . .
I've heard that if you have relatives round on Christmas Day the police can force entry and make them go home. Do you think this is a free service or do you have to book?
Friday, 18 December 2020
Wednesday, 16 December 2020
Friday, 2 October 2020
Tuesday, 25 August 2020
Sunday, 16 August 2020
Tuesday, 11 August 2020
Home Schooling Problems
As scientists say testing and tracing is key to schools reopening, kids say they're happy to do the tracing but would like to skip the tests. - HIGNFY
Saturday, 1 August 2020
Sunday, 26 July 2020
Classy
It may take a village to raise a child, but it's going to take a whole vineyard to homeschool one.
Saturday, 25 July 2020
Saturday, 27 June 2020
Monday, 15 June 2020
Outside
I don't get any luck. I made some face masks out of old socks and now I've been signed off for the week with Athlete's Nose.
Sunday, 7 June 2020
Saturday, 6 June 2020
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