Bikini Body

From War and Peas

My doctor says I should think about getting my stomach stapled.

It's great that at my age he still believes I could be a centrefold.

Playbird

From The Argyle Sweater

I thought I spotted a German sausage flying past my window,

but when I looked again I saw that it was just a seabird.

I thought, my eyesight has certainly taken a tern for the wurst.