If You Use These Emojis You're Old

From Steve Nelson

There were no such things as emojis when I was a young man.

In those days if you wanted a girl to know you found her attractive you had to post her an aubergine.

Old School Fun

From Steve Nelson

I told a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.

"Really?" she said. "Go on then, try!"

After about thirty seconds of fondling, she lost patience and demanded, "Come on, what day was I born?"

"Yesterday!" I replied.