Beware

From BerkeleyMews

I once took a slightly damaged stuffed dog on the Antiques Roadshow.

The expert said, "This is very rare, do you know what it would fetch if it was in good condition?"

I said, "I dunno, sticks I suppose?"

Indian Hills Community Center Punny Signs

When I was in America, my son and I went shopping in Walmart. I asked the cashier if they had any Kinder Eggs. She said “Oh no sir, we don’t sell them in the States – they’re a health hazard!” I said “OK, I’ll just take these two assault rifles then”.