Flowers

From Faceless

Scientists have discovered how much sleep the average person needs.

Just 5 minutes more.

Finding A Wife

From Faceless

I just found out that my wife has a Tinder profile and I'm furious.

She is absolutely not "adventurous", and "fun to be around"!

Coupons

From Faceless

How come, when a couple get divorced, the bloke has to pay his ex-wife a share of his future earnings but the woman doesn't have to do the bloke's future housework?

Feminine Side

From Faceless

The missis has just come into the living room wearing a skimpy little nightie, fishnet stockings and high heels.

She handed me a cold beer and told me to sit down, relax, and when she comes back she'll give me "what she does best".

I can hardly contain my excitement, I absolutely love shepherd's pie.

Wasted Motorbike

From Faceless

When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike.

Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

Working With Animals

From Faceless

Bono and The Edge walk into a bar and the barman groans, "oh no, not U2 again".

Stressful Activity

From Faceless

My girlfriend accused me of cheating on her...

She's beginning to sound just like my wife!

Help The Hungry

From Faceless

Mushroom Soup,

Chicken pâté,

Halloumi stuffed peppers,

Spring rolls.

And that's just four starters.

The March Of Progress

From Faceless

I bought a new deodorant stick today.

The instructions said remove the wrapper and push up the bottom.

I can hardly walk but when I fart the room smells lovely!

Christina Koch on the ISS

From Faceless

My wife insists on tidying up before the cleaner comes.

That's as ridiculous as me having a wank before taking the babysitter home.

Ex Wife

From Faceless

My wife left me for another man.

All that lies ahead now is a miserable, pointless life, with suicide seemingly the only way out.

And while he's going through all that, I'll be in the pub with my mates every night.

Realistic Supermarket

From Faceless

A sweater I purchased was picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the shop.

They gave me another one free of charge.

The Perks Of Being A Dentist

From Faceless

My wife's just back from the gynaecologist.

She said "The doctor told me I can't have sex for a month".

I said "What did your dentist say?"

Hook

From Faceless

My local golf shop is selling all its stock to stay in business. The putters, drivers and irons are all gone, but they’re not out of the woods yet.

Inattentive

From Faceless

Girlfriend Problems

From Faceless

Botched Operation

From Faceless

Long Wait

From Faceless

Spicing Things Up

From Faceless

Puppies In A Suitcase

From Faceless