Solution

I entered a competition to find the most considerate lover.

I came second.

Sin

From JimBenton

Jesus sacrificed his life for your sins . . .

. . . except he came back.

So, what did he really sacrifice?

His weekend?

Jesus sacrificed his weekend for your sins.

Unnatural

From Cyanide & Happiness

A UFO landed in the Vatican and the friendly Aliens were greeted by the pope.

Pope: What a great honour having the first sign of foreign life in the Universe visiting my humble home. Now, let me tell you about our saviour and king in heaven, Jesus Christ, who saved us all and we've been awaiting his return to us for around 2000 years.

Alien Leader: Jesus Christ you say? Long hair, beard, always in white clothes and is in his mid-thirties? Sure, we know this guy, he's a great guy! Whenever he visits us, he cures our sick, turns some water into wine, shows us his walking‑on‑water‑trick and then we throw a great party and serve him the choicest delicacies we have available. He pops by every 2 years or so. Anyway, you've been waiting for 2000 years you say; what is it you guys did to him?

Bad Day At The Office

From Loose Parts

If Mary gave birth to baby Jesus and baby Jesus is the Lamb of God, did Mary have a little lamb?

In The Beginning

From Junk Drawer

I think my wife's started to show the first signs of Alzheimer's.

She said she can't remember what she ever saw in me.

How It Works

From Cyanide & Happiness

Original Plan

From Will McPhail

OT Clickbait

From Wrong Hands

Favouring The Faithful

From smbc

Russell's Teapot

From xkcd

Deities

From Bizarro

Plan

 

From Cyanide & Happiness

Non-Native Species

From smbc

 

I Will Smite Them Here And There, I Will Smite Them Everywhere

From Bizarro

​

What Pyramids?

From TheArgyleSweater

I Think Therefore I'm God?

From smbc

Creationist Evolution

From Bizarro

God's Plan

 

From JimBenton

Religious Wars

Restart

From BerkeleyMews