Mealtimes in 1965

From Strange Brew

I just bought some counterfeit Mr Kipling cakes.

I must say, they're exceedingly good fakes.

Homecoming

From Bliss

I couldn't believe it today when I came home and was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn't actually mine.

She says I need to pay more attention when picking him up from school.

Creative

From LunarBaboon

My internet was down yesterday, so I chatted with my wife for a bit.

I was amazed to hear that she doesn't work at Woolworths anymore.

Manboy

From Bizarro

I don't drink cow's milk, because I'm not a baby cow.

However, I do drink almond milk, because I'm a little nutty!

Having Kids

From Speedbump

What do you call a spider with 20 eyes?

Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider

Pengtastic

From Liniers Cartoon

Who is a penguin's favourite family member?

Aunt Arctic.

Excuse

From Reality Check

Three guys decide to stop for a drink after work on Christmas Eve.

One thing leads to another and they end up on an all night pub crawl.

While going to one last place, they get in a terrible accident and all three are killed.

They find themselves standing in front of the Pearly Gates.

St Peter tells them, "Boys, you're in luck. Since it's Christmas, we have a special policy. Show me anything that shows that you're celebrating the day, and you get into Heaven."

One guy pulls out his lighter and flicks it. "Christmas candle."

"OK, it's a stretch, but you're in."

Second guy pulls out his keys and jingles them. "Christmas bells."

"Whatever, you're in."

Third guy pulls a pair of women's panties out of his pocket.

St. Peter says, "Hold up. I'm willing to stretch a point today, but what do panties have to do with Christmas?"

"They're Carol's."

Public Display of Affection

Why do native Americans hate snow?

It's white and all over their land.

Demanding

From Bird and Moon

What's the difference between Black Eyed Peas and Chick Peas?

Black Eyed Peas can sing us a song.

Chick Peas can hummus one.

Sketch Artist

From Cornered

My wife and I decided we don't want to have children. We will be telling them tonight.

Adaption

I just had a bubble bath. It was me, my Mum, my Uncle Alan and my Nan.

Families In Lockdown

From James Breakwell

From James Breakwell

From James Breakwell

Normal Side Effects Of A Long Quarantine

From LunarBaboon

From Walt Handelsman

Who would have thought that eight weeks of uncut hair would weigh a stone, but who am I to argue with the bathroom scales?

Emotional Separation

Spare Roo-m

From TheArgyleSweater

Family Trade

Careful What You Wish For

From Scribbly G

Hard Times

From Liz Climo

Like Father

From LunarBaboon

Rekindle

 

From LunarBaboon