Skills

From LunarBaboon

The wife's hair salon raised its prices and now she can either afford a haircut or a recolour, but not both.

Every visit is a do-or-dye situation.

A Dozen Delaneys

I bet the Queen was disappointed to watch 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest', and find it wasn't about the time she flew over a cuckoo's nest.

 

Not a lot people know this about 50 Cent, but he used to be one half of Dollar.

 

The Tower of Pisa is probably the most famous listed building.

 

I went on a course to learn how to complain properly, and it was so good, I got my money back.

 

I was named after my dad, and that's because I'm a lot younger than him.

 

I used to be a mobile hairdresser but that didn't work out, as not enough people had hairy phones.

 

As a child I worked in hurricane prevention, well I say that, I pulled the wings off butterflies.

 

I've just completed the couch to 5K app, now what am I supposed to do with 5000 couches?

 

I accidentally used a volume maximising shampoo, and now my hair's too noisy.

 

My nose was all clogged up this morning, so I gave it a really good blow, and two wooden shoes popped out.

 

I was actually Birmingham Memory Man of the Year, back in 1980-something.

 

There's two typos of people in the world, those who always notice spelling mistakes, and those who don't.

Weighty Hair

From smbc

I went to get my hair cut yesterday, but there were so many people in front of me.

After an hour the manager started to hand out sausages and burgers as an apology for the long wait.

It was the best barber queue ever.

Targeted Freds

Countdown

From Matt

Q: What have hairdressers, gyms and the tub of Quality Street in your mum's kitchen cupboard got in common?

A: None of them are allowed to be opened until December.

Complaints To Thomas Cook