Laser Eye Surgery

From OffTheMark

I said to my doctor "I've got a problem with one of my ears".

He said "Are you sure?"

I said "Yes, I'm definite".

Single Blind

From Pardon My Planet

Doctor: "Relax, David. It's just a small surgery, don't panic."

Me: "But my name isn't David?"

Doctor: "I know. I'm David!"

Local Map

From Andertoons

From Bizarro

From Waynovision

I've just been to my local hospital and, whilst I was parking, I saw a sign saying "Thieves Operate Here".

Surely it would be safer to leave it to the Surgeons? 

Encouragement

From Speedbump

My three favourite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Settings

From Loose Parts

Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation.

Baywatch

 

From Reality Check

My wife had a breast reduction last year.

She's down to just the two now.

Personal Grooming

From Wumo

My wife got confused and went to see a tree surgeon instead of a plastic surgeon.

Mind you, she does have a very nice bush now.

Liposuction Tailors

From Bizarro

Surgical Challenge

From Bizarro