Bob Loved The Outdoors

From Cornered

Last night my neighbour came home drunk and banged on his own door for 5 minutes.

The trouble is, he lives alone, so nobody answered.

So, I went outside and told him he wasn't there; and he left.

Bad Neighbours

From Loose Parts

I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."

I couldn't believe it.

You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return!

Everybody Needs Good Neighbours

My neighbours keep complaining about my loud groans during sex in the mornings . . .

. . . if only they knew it's just me putting my socks on!

Neighbourhood Watch

From The Argyle Sweater

My next door neighbour said to me "Is it ok if I use your lawnmower?"

I said "Certainly, just don't take it out of my garden".