Dog Air

From Mark Lynch

When I was in the pub, I overheard someone saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman.

What a sexist.

I mean, it's not as if she'd ever end up having to reverse it!

Flying Pigs

"You have a reminder set for 5pm today," my phone said.

"A reminder? What is it?" I asked.

"It's a notification to ensure you don't forget something, but that's not important right now," the phone replied.

Then I remembered I'd left it in Airplane mode.

Dreams Of Flying

From Remi Lascault

I bought my nephew a caterpillar cake without checking the best before date, so now he's got a butterfly cake.

Field Trip

From Bizarro

Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel glad that you're alive?

I just did; and I've been told I'll never be able to fly with Jet2 again!

Standard Operating Procedure

From Christopher Weyant

Have you been hit by a rhythm stick and it wasn't your fault?

You may be entitled to obtain compensation from an Ian Dury claim.