A man was in the habit of getting drunk several times a week.
Enough is enough thought his wife, so she told him, “If you come home drunk once more, I’m leaving you”
The man went out that night with the best of intentions but ended up drinking so much that he vomited all over himself.
“My goodness, I appear to have vomited all over myself” he proclaimed.
“I smell of regurgitated spirits”, he said to his drinking companion, “now my wife will leave me”.
“Fear not” said the drinking companion, “Just walk in with £20 in your hand and say that someone else vomited on you and then gave you £20 for dry cleaning”.
So, the man went home and when he was accused of being drunk explained, “No, no dear I’m not drunk, see I was given £20 by the man who vomited all over me so that I could have my clothes dry cleaned.”
“Is that so”, asked his wife. “Then tell me, why do you have another £20 in your other hand?”
“Oh”, said the man, ”that was from the guy who shat in my pants.”
