No Means No

From Mark Lynch

My wife says she loves to be wooed so now whenever we have date night I have to dress up as a ghost.

Sharing

From Joe Dator

"How would you feel about a threesome?" my wife asked over breakfast this morning.

"Wow, that would be amazing!" I responded surprised.

"Which of my friends would you like me to ask?" she went on, licking her lips seductively.

"How about Rachel and Anna?" I replied.

Still Full

From Speedbump

Teach a man to fish and he'll be like, "cool, thanks".

Teach a woman to fish and she'll be like, "You're doing it wrong".

Old Hibernating Bears

From The Argyle Sweater