The March Of Progress

From Faceless

I bought a new deodorant stick today.

The instructions said remove the wrapper and push up the bottom.

I can hardly walk but when I fart the room smells lovely!

Beware How You Talk To Idiots (or Children)

My mum said, "Honey, please go to the market and buy a bottle of milk.  If they have eggs, get 6".

I came back with 6 bottles of milk.

She said, "Why on earth did you buy 6 bottles of milk?"

I said, "because they had eggs".