Interruptions

From Dilbert

From Dilbert

Have you seen that old boy collecting trollies at Tesco?

He must be pushing seventy odd.

Meeting End

From Dilbert

I asked the girl in B&Q, "What's best for greasy ovens?"

She replied, "Ammonia cleaner".

I said, "Sorry, I thought you worked here".

Go Around The Table

From Dilbert

What do you call 2 monkeys that share an Amazon account?

Prime mates.

Reach and Touch

From Dilbert

I've got a friend who was telling me that he was feeling bad because he couldn't pay his water bill.

So, I sent him a get well card.

Yay, Pizza

From Dilbert

I always get my pizza delivered.

I don't understand why they're putting liver on pizza in the first place.

Brainstorming

From Dilbert

Life Tip:

I've found that if you tuck one bit of your trouser leg into your socks people expect less of you.

Frequent Victims Club

From Dilbert

I paid for a coffee in Starbucks earlier.

I've no idea how much it cost in Earth money.

Mind Your Language

From Dilbert

It's been over three months since I ordered that How To Scam People Online book.

And it still hasn't arrived!

Multitasking

From Dilbert

An Easy Way To Remember Which Way The Clocks Go In Autumn:

The evenings are creeping in.

The collective noun for a group of tortoises is a creep.

The combined weight of 9 African spurred tortoises is approximately 365Kg.

There are 365 days in a year on the planet earth.

The best way to move mounds of earth is with a bulldozer.

Bulldozer rhymes with Composer.

One of the most recognised composers was Johann Christian Bach.

Bach sounds like Back.

Back. The clocks go back.

Self-Driving Car

From Dilbert

I've just been out panic buying and bought 32 Smiths albums.

Feeling Loyal

From Dilbert

I came home early from work and found my wife cheating.

The lazy bitch has hired a cleaner.

New Feature

From Dilbert

I'd been with my girlfriend for a while, and I knew it was the right time to say what I wanted to say to her.

So last night I got down on one knee, looked into her eyes, and said, "Look, this is just not going to work out, love. You're just far too small".

Management

From Dilbert

I was in a taxi today chatting to the driver.

He said "I love my job. I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do".

I said "Turn left here, mate!"

Benefits Of Working From Home

From Dilbert

Zooming From Home

From Dilbert

Medical Advice

From Dilbert

Airline industry warns of mass unemployment due to Covid, despite flying being the best way to get to your nearest testing centre. - HIGNFY

Risky Masks

From Real Life Adventures

 

From Dilbert

Has COVID-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time? You may be entitled to condensation.

Distancing Issues

From Liniers Cartoon

From Dilbert

One Man's Meat

 

From Dilbert

New Normal

From Dilbert