I didn't manage to get into the College of Hypnotism because . . .
. . . I failed the entrance exam.
Showing posts with label hypnotism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hypnotism. Show all posts
Monday, 20 November 2023
Tuesday, 15 November 2016
Hypnotherapist, Psychiatrist, Surprise
A weeping woman
bursts into her hypnotherapist’s office and declares, “Doctor, I have been
faithful to my husband for 15 years, but last weekend I broke that trust and
slept with a man I met in a pub whilst out with my girlfriends. The guilt is
killing me. I just want to forget that it ever happened!”
The hypnotherapist shakes his head. “Oh no, not again …”
Jim said he’d think about it.
Six months later, he runs in the doctor who asks why he never came back.
“For £50 a visit?”, Jim says, “My mate Harry cured me for a few beers and a curry.”
“Impossible!” said the outraged therapist, “How could he do that?”
“Simple, he told me to cut the legs off the bed.”
A couple decide to go for a meal on their anniversary and after some deliberation decide on their local Chinese restaurant.
They peruse the menu and finally agree to share the chef's special chicken surprise.
The waiter brings over the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.
Just as the wife is about to start in on the meal, the lid of the pot rises a tiny amount and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.
"Did you see that?" she asks her husband.
He didn't, so she asks him to look in the pot.
He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and again he sees two beady little eyes looking around before it firmly slams back down.
Rather perturbed he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening and demands an explanation.
"Well sir", says the waiter, "What did you order?"
"We both chose the same", he replies, "the chicken surprise".
"Oh I do apologise, this is my fault" says the waiter, "I've brought you the Peeking Duck"
- - - -
The hypnotherapist shakes his head. “Oh no, not again …”
- - - -
Jim went to a
psychiatrist and told him, “I can’t sleep.
Every time I get into bed I think there’s somebody under it.
“Come to me
three times a week for two years and I’ll cure your fears”, the shrink says,
“and I’ll charge you only £50 a visit”.Jim said he’d think about it.
Six months later, he runs in the doctor who asks why he never came back.
“For £50 a visit?”, Jim says, “My mate Harry cured me for a few beers and a curry.”
“Impossible!” said the outraged therapist, “How could he do that?”
“Simple, he told me to cut the legs off the bed.”
- - - -
A couple decide to go for a meal on their anniversary and after some deliberation decide on their local Chinese restaurant.
They peruse the menu and finally agree to share the chef's special chicken surprise.
The waiter brings over the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.
Just as the wife is about to start in on the meal, the lid of the pot rises a tiny amount and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.
"Did you see that?" she asks her husband.
He didn't, so she asks him to look in the pot.
He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and again he sees two beady little eyes looking around before it firmly slams back down.
Rather perturbed he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening and demands an explanation.
"Well sir", says the waiter, "What did you order?"
"We both chose the same", he replies, "the chicken surprise".
"Oh I do apologise, this is my fault" says the waiter, "I've brought you the Peeking Duck"
- - - -
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