Good Parent

From Little Porpoise

"I bumped into your wife yesterday."

"Oh, where?"

"You know the cafe opposite that Swingers club?"

"Yes."

"Opposite that cafe!"

Poor Planning

From Reality Check

From Speedbump

If you're American when you go into the toilet

And American when you leave the toilet

What are you whilst you're using the toilet?

Eurapeeing.

Totem Pole Artist

From Joseph Nowak

I bought some of those flavoured condoms the other day.

I said to my wife, "Let's play a game. I'll put one on and you have to try and guess what flavour it is."

So, she went underneath the duvet and after a moment or two she said, "Cheese and onion?"

I said, "For goodness sake, woman, give me a chance to get the damn thing on."