Showing posts with label St. Peter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label St. Peter. Show all posts

Thursday, 18 August 2022

Water

From Loose Parts

A bus full of Nuns falls off a cliff and they all die.

They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter.

St. Peter says to them "Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all through the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single-file line." And they do so.

St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her "Sister, have you ever touched a penis?"

The Sister Responds "Well... there was this one time... that I kinda sorta... touched one with the tip of my pinky finger..."

St. Peter says "Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted." and she did so.

St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says "Sister, have you ever touched a penis?"

"Well.... There was this one time... that I held one for a moment..."

"Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted" and she does so.

Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another!

St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun "Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!"

Sister Susan responds "Well if I'm going to have to gargle this stuff, I'd rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!"

Monday, 17 December 2012

Christmas! So it begins!

Three  men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint  Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honour  of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must  each possess something that symbolizes Christmas  to get into heaven.'

The  Englishman fumbled through his pockets and  pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter  said.

The  Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out  a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're  bells.'

Saint  Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly  gates'.

The  Irishman  started searching desperately  through his pockets and finally pulled out a  pair of women's panties.

St. Peter  looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and  asked, 'And just what do those  symbolize?'

The man  replied...........

 
'These are  Carol's.'  


And So The Christmas Season Begins......