Caring Community

From Bizarro

Today at the park

Saw a six foot tall pigeon

Now that's a high coo!

All A-Bored

From Monster Picnic

Boss: This is the third time you've been late this week. Do you know what that means?

Me: It's Wednesday?

Point Of No Return

From Loose Parts

My girlfriend told me that she slept with 5 people before we met.

I usually wouldn’t mind, but I was only 20 minutes late!

Marriage Counselling

From Mark Lynch

A man and his wife were out on the golf course.

They've just played the first hole and are walking to the second tee when his wife is hit on the head by a stray golf ball and is knocked unconscious.

The husband panics and rushes into the clubhouse shouting, "Is there a doctor in the house? My wife's been knocked unconscious by a golf ball."

A chap at the bar pipes up, "I'm a doctor. Where has she been hit?"

The husband says, "In between the first and second holes."

"Blimey," says the doctor, "There won't be much room for a plaster."

Promotion?

From Bliss

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work.

Thankfully I was at work!

I Saw A Dog

From HeyBuddy

Previous Activity

From Faceless

Tardy Ambulance

 

From Bizarro

 

Quick Kids

TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your maths multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right.. 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....

TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher