Dry January

From Reality Check

To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.

Volunteer?

From Bizarro

I got a Jehovah's Witness advent calendar this year.

Behind every door is someone telling you to go away and leave them alone.

Thirsty

From Dogs on the 4th

I used to be an eight pints a night guy until my doctor told me I had to cut it down by half.

So now I'm a seven and a half pints a night!

Fight Fire With . . .

From smbc

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.

Doggy Bag?

From Scott Metzger

I arrived early at the restaurant last night.

The manager said, "Do you mind waiting for a bit?"

I said "Not at all".

He said "Great, take these drinks to table 7″

Drink O'Clock

From James Breakwell

Is it OK that I start drinking as soon as the kids go to school? Or does that make me a bad teacher?

Life Hacks

From Imgur

Wee-erd Fruit Juice

From TheArgyleSweater

Maybe This Is The Vodka Talking

 

From xkcd

 

Phrasing Is Important

From smbc

Location, Location, Location

From Bizarro