Smart Toaster

From Mark Lynch

I bought myself a new smart TV.

Now I can't watch Celebrity Big Brother.

It will only let me watch The Open University and Brian Cox documentaries.

Instant On Demand TV

From Moderately Confused

I noticed that on my tv remote control there was a button labelled "Cinema Surround Sound".

I pressed it.

All of a sudden, a voice came from behind me saying, "Move your head, I can't see."

New Content

From Dinos and Comics

My car is in such poor condition the resale value goes up and down depending on how much petrol is in it.

Takes Place Now-ish

From xkcd

Watching TV

What An Opportunity

Out Of Office

Easy Solution

A Dose Of Reality

From smbc

Channel Surfing

A man watching a football game on TV kept switching channels to a dirty movie featuring a lusty couple.
 
"I don't know whether to watch them or the game," he said to his wife.
 
"For heaven's sake, watch them," his wife said.
 
"You already know how to play football!"