Yakini

From Scott Metzger

What kind of creature do you get when you mix a yak and a lion?

A maney-yak.

Courage

From Bliss

Ladies, if a guy:

- remembers your birthday

- knows what you enjoy

- saves your pictures

- harvests your data

- keeps your passwords in plain text;

this guy is not your man.

This guy is Mark Zuckerberg.

Pride Month

From Mark Lynch

What do you call a group of people waiting to get into a Pride festival?

An LGBT queue.

Selection Bias

From xkcd

Animal meeting at the zoo.

Lion: You're late, we said meet at sunset.

Giraffe: But I can still see the sun, you guys are all early.

Everyday Problem

From Moderately Confused

Why was there a lion in the wardrobe?

Narnia business.

Playdate

From The Perry Bible Fellowship

At any given time, the urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" ...

... is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away ...

An Octet Of Delaney

The more I learn about Russian dolls, the more I find there is to learn about Russian dolls.

 

Plastic surgeons can now give you a second penis, I'm tempted but worried it might make me a bit too cocky.

 

50 percent of people who go to watch The Cure actually end up watching Placebo, and enjoy it just as much.

 

There's two typos of people, those who make spelling mistakes and those who don't.

 

My Uncle's a lion tamer, when the bank foreclosed they took nearly everything, but at least he's still got his pride.

 

My Nan's got a dripping tap in her kitchen, which goes to show how much she loves dripping.

 

I've just been to the mobile library and borrowed a Nokia for three weeks.

 

I used to try to make eye contact with people on the tube, but one thing I soon learned about Londoners is they hate you touching their eyes.

Massage

From LunarBaboon

[first day as a pilot]

Control Tower: "What are your coordinates?"

Me: "I'm by a cloud that looks like a lion"

Control Tower: "Can you be more specific?"

Me: "Simba"

Out Of Africa

​

 

From Buni Comic

Buni Unicorns

From Buni Comic

From Buni Comic

From Buni Comic

Whiteboards Are Remarkable

I hate Russian dolls.  They’re just so full of themselves.

I asked my North Korean friend how he liked living over there.  He said he couldn’t complain.

The other day my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.

I haven’t slept for three days; because that would be too long.

The first time I got a universal remote control I thought to myself, “This changes everything”.

My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a ban from the local zoo.

You can never lose a homing pigeon.  If it doesn’t come back home, what you’ve lost is a pigeon.

Ark

From Buni Comic

Buni Lion, Buni Cake, Buni Work

From Buni Comic

From Buni Comic

From Buni Comic

Relaxing Animals