Showing posts with label insect. Show all posts
Showing posts with label insect. Show all posts

Monday, 25 August 2025

Friday, 27 June 2025

Wednesday, 19 March 2025

Feeling Guilty

From Mark Lynch

My ex-girlfriend used to head butt me in the face whenever she had an orgasm.

I didn't mind too much until I found out that she was faking them.

Wednesday, 1 January 2025

Happy New Year

From Strange Brew

I've opened a gym called Resolutions.

It will have exercise equipment for the first two weeks . . .

. . . and then it will turn into a bar for the rest of the year.

Tuesday, 10 December 2024

Dreams Of Flying

From Remi Lascault

I bought my nephew a caterpillar cake without checking the best before date, so now he's got a butterfly cake.

Friday, 18 October 2024

Wednesday, 16 October 2024

Bad Neighbours

From Loose Parts

I helped my neighbour this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you."

I couldn't believe it.

You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return!

Wednesday, 18 September 2024

Insects Night Out

From Andertoons

I've got a date with a woman who identifies as a wheelie bin . . .

. . . but I can't remember whether I'm taking her out on Tuesday or Wednesday.

Monday, 26 August 2024

Beware Bugs Bearing Gifts

From Bizarro

I accidentally sent a picture of me naked to everyone in my address book today.

Not only was it really embarrassing, it cost me a fortune in stamps.

Monday, 3 June 2024

Seeing The Light

From Joseph Nowak

"You have a reminder set for 5pm today," my phone said.

"A reminder? What is it?" I asked.

"It's a notification to ensure you don't forget something, but that's not important right now," the phone replied.

Then I remembered I'd left it in Airplane mode.

Thursday, 28 March 2024

Monday, 18 March 2024

Moth Art

From Elis Rosen

Being both a moth and a sea captain is hard.

You're in charge of the ship.

Up ahead you see a lighthouse.

You know you shouldn't . . . but. . .