Tim Vine Jokes

Three cheers for rap music.
Hip hop . . . hooray
Hip hop . . . hooray
Hip hop . . . hooray

Who can tell you what will happen to your nose in the future?
Nostrildamus.

He said, "my dog's go no dictionary".
I said, "how does he spell terrible?"

He said, "Do you know anything about how to become self employed?"
I said, "Mind your own business".

I live next door to a horse.
He's my neigh-bour.