Green Eggs and Spam

From Looks Good On Paper

What do Green Eggs and Ham and Fifty Shades of Grey have in common?

They both encourage people who can barely read to try new things.

Email Receipt

From System 32 Comics

[shopping]

Girlfriend: "Babe, I really love these shoes but I left my purse at home"

Me: "How much are they?"

Girlfriend: "£750"

Me: *opens wallet*

Girlfriend: [excited]

Me: "Here's £10. Get a taxi and go and fetch your purse. I'll wait for you here".

In The Not Too Distant Future

From Mark Lynch

I just checked my emails, only to find it full of the usual offers, such as penis extensions, Viagra, hair loss cures, how to keep your woman satisfied, how to lose weight quickly etc. I wouldn't mind, but they're all from the missus.

Your Horoscope For This Week

Just a heads up.

If you get an email from the Department of Health and Social Care telling you that you shouldn't eat tinned pork and ham because it contains COVID‑19 ignore it; it's just spam.

This quarantine is affecting everyone in the workforce, but it's especially upsetting for men. We're losing £1 for every 79p women are losing.