If you have just left school or uni and have started working at your first adult job you may be wondering if this is all there is to life.
No, it is not: there is also back pain.
Showing posts with label Perry Bible Fellowship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Perry Bible Fellowship. Show all posts
Tuesday, 3 June 2025
Friday, 25 August 2023
Bunny Pit
From The Perry Bible Fellowship
My mate set me up on a blind date.
He said, "She's a lovely girl, but there's something you should know. She's expecting a baby."
I felt like a right idiot waiting in the pub wearing nothing but a nappy!
Tuesday, 23 May 2023
Friday, 10 March 2023
Life Skills
From The Perry Bible Fellowship
A Lieutenant stands on the edge of a high cliff with his troops. The lieutenant looks down and then points to a soldier.
-You there! Come here to the cliff edge, extend your right hand to the side and jump down.
The lieutenant watches as the soldier obeys his command and falls down. He commands the next soldier in line:
-You there! Come here to the edge, extend your left leg and your left arm forward and jump down.
Again, the lieutenant closely watches as the soldier falls, pauses for a moment to think and commands the next one in line.
-You there! Come here to the edge, lie down, lift your right leg up and roll down.
A General passing by notices what's going on and storms to the scene:
-Lieutenant Alexey! How many times do I have to tell you? You can't play Tetris at work.
Friday, 27 January 2023
Playdate
From The Perry Bible Fellowship
At any given time, the urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" ...
... is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away ...
Monday, 31 October 2022
The Treat
From The Perry Bible Fellowship
I went to see my doctor and he told me I was obese and diabetic.
I thought - he could have sugar coated it a bit.
Tuesday, 23 August 2022
Nick Of Time
From The Perry Bible Fellowship
I asked the waiter if fish was one of the specials.
He said "Of course not, he was the lead singer of Marillion".
Wednesday, 27 July 2022
What I Want To Be When I Grow Up
From The Perry Bible Fellowship
It's been proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys.
Girls develop breasts around the age of 13, boys around the age of 40.
Monday, 13 December 2021
Friday, 30 July 2021
Catastrophe
From The Perry Bible Fellowship
Why do you never notice pilots when you're in town?
Because they're usually in d'skies.
Tuesday, 15 June 2021
Wednesday, 28 April 2021
Finneas Go Fetch Paw
From The Perry Bible Fellowship
The reason a dog is man's best friend is because he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
Friday, 19 March 2021
News Puppy
A young lady goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner for her first meeting with the family and she is very, very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal, but after the broccoli soup starter, she begins to feel a little discomfort.
The pressure on her stomach is almost enough to make her eyes water and left with little alternative, she decides to relieve herself by letting out a little wind.
It wasn't loud, but everyone around the table definitely appeared to hear a little pffft.
Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked around for the family dog that had been snoozing beneath the table and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy?"
'Phew!' she immediately thought and allowed half a smile to cross her face.
But a couple of minutes later she felt the gas building up again, only this time she didn't hesitate and let out a much louder, longer rip.
Once again, her boyfriend's father immediately yelled at the dog, "Skippy???"
So once more she smiled slyly and thought, 'Yes. Thank goodness for Skippy.'
Yet just another couple of minutes went by before she let out the fart of all farts and didn't even bother to try and disguise it.
At that, her boyfriend's father stood up in disgust, looked at the dog and yelled, "Damn it, Skippy! Get away from that woman before she shits all over your head."
Saturday, 9 May 2020
Measured Reaction
From The Perry Bible Fellowship
Danny Zuni: 🎶 "I got chills, they're multiplying" 🎶
Sandy: *backing away*
Wednesday, 25 December 2019
Monday, 25 November 2019
Friday, 16 August 2019
Friday, 21 December 2018
Tuesday, 15 August 2017
Thursday, 12 January 2017
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