A Child Fell Into A Well

From Cyanide & Happiness

A strangler is just a fiend you haven't met yet.

Getting The Perfect Shot

From Bliss

I just failed my abseiling exam.

I let myself down badly there.

Apple Intern

From Dustinteractive

I've just dropped my mobile phone.

Luckily it was in flight mode so it landed safely.

Number Scrabble

From The Jenkins

Throwing Scrabble tiles around the room is all fun and games until somebody loses an i.

Daily Ritual

From Rhymes With Orange

Did you hear about the massive LEGO sale this weekend?

People were lining up for blocks.

Self Cleaning Oven

From Yaffle by Jeffrey Caulfield and Brian Ponshock

As I was sitting drinking my morning cup of tea in my slippers, I thought to myself . . .

. . . I really must wash some cups!

Protection Racket

From Will McPhail

I Saw a Huge Seagull Today

It was big enough to be a D Gull.

But not quite big enough to be an Eagle.

Caught In The Lights

From Bizarro

I saw an Irish dancing show today called 'Streamdance'.

It's not quite as good as 'Riverdance', but then it is only a tributary act.

Happy

From Jonesy

What do you call a pig with three eyes?

Piiig

Cracking Horror

From Yaffle by Jeffrey Caulfield and Brian Ponshock

My friends call me the exorcist.

Because, after I leave there are no spirits left in the house.

Sleeping Partner

From OffTheMark

The patron saint of coffee is St. Arbucks.

The Reality Of Being A Parent

From smbc

What time is it when you see a cow laying in a field?

Pasture bedtime!

Devices

From F Minus

I bumped into someone from my flashers' club in town earlier.

It's always nice to see a fellow member.  

Narcisyphus

From Andertoons

I asked my photographer friend which pose was the best for selfies.

He said, "It doesn't really matter. Just take your pic."

Making Friends

From Little Porpoise

Yesterday I tried that new laxative that contains goose feathers.

Today I'm feeling down in the dumps.

Apple Burgers

From FoodBeast

I spotted someone stealing something from the Apple Store.

So new, I'm an iWitness.

Trust Test

From Will McPhail

Knock knock

Who's there?

Europe

Europe who

I'm not a poo

One Small Hop

From Liniers Cartoon

Why do astronauts use macs?

Because it's dangerous to open windows in space.

Hot And Dry

From Jonesy

I feel sorry for the staff of Greggs in this weather.

They must be baking in there.

Geology Bookcase

From Slane Cartoons

Some people hate geology jokes,

but I think they're pretty gneiss.