"You have a reminder set for 5pm today," my phone said.
"A reminder? What is it?" I asked.
"It's a notification to ensure you don't forget something, but that's not important right now," the phone replied.
Then I remembered I'd left it in Airplane mode.
I don't want to brag, but I finished the jigsaw puzzle in a week...
And it said 2-4 years on the box.
Don't worry if you've forgotten the first rule of Passive Aggressive Club, it's fine.
A tourist from the city passed a farmhouse and saw a pig with a wooden leg. He went to the farmer and asked him about the pig.
The farmer said, "Oh, this is a great pig! There's no pig like him anywhere! Once, when I was ploughing a field, the tractor tipped over and pinned my leg to the ground. This pig saw me and went to the house to get my wife. He saved my life!
"Another time, my wife and I were asleep in the house when a fire started. This pig woke us up and got us out of the house before it burned down. He saved me again! He's a wonderful pig!"
"But you didn't tell us how he got the wooden leg," said the tourist.
"Oh," said the farmer, "a pig like that, you don't eat all at once!"
