Turning Back The Clock

From Portsherry

If you can't remember whether to put your clocks forward or back this weekend, here's a handy phrase to help you remember:

The clocks go back this weekend.

Regifting

From Portsherry

I think it's time I told everyone a little bit about myself.

As many of you will know, I used to be a harpist.

I'm not going to brag, but I could play the harp brilliantly.

I worked in an orchestra and after one of our concerts I met this amazing woman.

I grew to absolutely adore this girl, and would do anything for her.

But this is a story about how it all went wrong.

 

My harp was immaculate, 17th century, with ornate carvings, and it was my pride and joy,

It was worth a great deal of money; a lot more than most people would believe.

But my girl knew, because I would play her to sleep with it every night.

She also loved the harp, and to show her how much I loved her, I decided to give it to her as a Christmas present last year.

 

Unfortunately, our relationship was not to last.

On boxing day, the day after I gifted to her something so important to me, I found out she didn't really love me and she sold it in an online auction.

I was devastated, and had to end it with her.............

 

'Last Christmas I gave her my harp, but the very next day, it was sold on eBay'

Object Of Affection

From Portsherry

My wife's the double of the blonde one in Abba.

I can never remember whether it's Benny or Björn.