Occupational Hazard

From smbc

Once there was a fire at a voodoo doll factory and 10,000 people died.

Unwelcome Gift

From OffTheMark

I got a Travelodge advent calendar this year.

All the chocolate is still in it though as you can't get the windows open.

11 Delaneys

A palindromedary camel has the same number of humps going backwards or forwards.

More Americans are killed in shootings than by fire and that's because if you shout "fire" in America someone will shoot you.

 

I love looking at things through a magnifying glass to see what they're made of, for example not many people know this but ants are actually made of fire.  

 

I got bit by a donkey once.

It was on holiday in Spain.

Who even knew donkeys had holidays?

 

Password tip for married men.

Use something you did wrong as that way your wife will never let you forget it.

 

My robot friend always wondered why his family ran on DC current but he ran on AC, until one day he found out he was adapted.

 

My Grandad was a famous spy in World War Two, which is how he got caught.

 

I saw a sign in Specsavers saying children should not be left without supervision. If they had that they wouldn't be in Specsavers.

 

One time I burped in front of the Queen which is a crime but it's OK as she gave me a pardon.

 

I'm not saying I'm accident prone but I just got a paper cut from a risk assessment form.

 

My first wife left me because of my obsession with clickbait and you won't believe what happened next.

Goldilocks Campfire Zone

From xkcd

There was a fire drill at IKEA today…

We all assembled in the car park!

House On Fire

From B Kliban

Top Tip:

To pay a homeopath, soak a fiver in a bucket of water and pay with a vial of that water containing a memory of money.

Brrr...

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a brick?

A brrrick.

Just Japes

From Bliss

TIP: All women find firemen sexy.

Why not treat your lady to a sexy midnight surprise by leaving the chip-pan on when you go to bed?

Fight Fire With . . .

From smbc

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.

Hot Steaming Pizza

From Loading Artist

I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night.

I should have cooked it on aloha setting.

Stop, Drop, And Roll

From Rustled Jimmies

The world's biggest Barbara Streisand fan died today in a fire.

Police say she was so badly burned that she could only be identified by her Yentl records.

Animal Behaviour

From Bliss

From Bliss

From Bliss

From Bliss

If 2020 Was A Game

Simmons Gets Fired

From LightRoastComics

Beaver Scouts

From TheArgyleSweater

Household Tips

From xkcd

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Confident Vision

From Bizarro

Buni Christmas

From Buni Comic

From Buni Comic

From Buni Comic

From Buni Comic

From Buni Comic

From Buni Comic

The Four Elements

Buni Accidents

 

From Buni Comic

 

From Buni Comic

 

From Buni Comic

 

From Buni Comic

 

From Buni Comic

Fire Safety Instruction