Reward

From Don't Hit Save

I read that taking your bike to work is good for the environment.

So, I thought why not?

I'm not using that roof rack for anything else!

How To Change The Bed

From Lucas Turn Bloom

I shall take you to bed and have my way with you.

I shall make you ache, shake and sweat until you moan and groan.

I will make you beg me to stop.

When I am finished you will be weak for days.

Sincerely, the flu.

Busman's Holiday

From Wrong Hands

My auntie Marge has been ill for so long we changed her name to 'I can't believe she's not better'.

Time Off Excuse

From Dilbert

We're going to have to stop using the expression, "avoid it like the plague" because it turns out that humans don't do that sort of thing.

Measured Reaction

 

From The Perry Bible Fellowship

Danny Zuni: 🎶 "I got chills, they're multiplying" 🎶

Sandy: *backing away*

Browser

 

From Bizarro

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Go To The Doctor Before It's Too Late

The Deadliest Shape