Some Gags

From JimBenton “Do you really have to lick the knife?” she asked frowning. “Sorry, force of habit!” I chuck...

From JimBenton Jesus sacrificed his life for your sins . . . . . . except he came back. So, what did he r...

From JimBenton I just got back from the barbers. I had a number two all over. He was livid.

From JimBenton I’ve just got back from my plastic surgery support group. There were a lot of new faces there...

  From JimBenton What do you call a baby manatee? A boyatee

From JimBenton The local council is gritting the roads like there's snow tomorrow.

From JimBenton I bumped into a beautiful woman this morning and she asked me for my phone number . . . . . . then my insurance details!...

From JimBenton Why was the snowman rummaging through the bag of carrots? He was picking his nose!

From JimBenton I tried reading the dictionary in bed last night. I didn't finish it. I got up to p.

From JimBenton Did you know . . . . . . that you can fly from any airport in the country without posting it on Facebook?

From JimBenton I was going to nail a shelf to my wall, but then I thought . . . . . . screw it!

From JimBenton Why did the archaeopteryx get the worm? Because it was an early bird.

From JimBenton Kale - I prefer mine with a silent "K"

From JimBenton I don't know the science behind it, but if you're totally naked and you want to feel even more naked all you hav...

From JimBenton I blocked the idiot who kept correcting my grammar. It fielded so good.

From JimBenton They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some ex...

From JimBenton How come fish smell? They spend their whole lives taking a bath.

From JimBenton There must be another planet somewhere with worms. Otherwise, why would we call ours "Earth" worms?

From JimBenton Billy tells his nursery teacher he found a dead cat. "How did you know it was dead?" asks his teacher. "Becaus...

  From JimBenton FACT: Saint Valentine was an early Christian martyr who was stoned to death for selling criminally overpriced flowers ...