Some Gags

From Joseph Nowak It's the start of a brand new week, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.

From Joseph Nowak Her: I'll have the salad, no nuts, please? Waiter: Of course, Me: It didn't say it had nuts. Her: I'm allergic...

From Joseph Nowak Why do all astronauts use a mac? Because it's dangerous to open windows in space.

From Joseph Nowak The self-deprecation society is taking applications for new members. I've already put myself down.

From Joseph Nowak "You have a reminder set for 5pm today," my phone said. "A reminder? What is it?" I asked. "It...

From Joseph Nowak Our budgerigar got out of its cage a couple of months ago and had sex with our dog. If anyone is interested, we have a ba...

From Joseph Nowak I had to take the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector earlier today. The loud beeping was giving me a headac...

From Joseph Nowak I'm convinced that my wife is sabotaging my weapons collection with glue. She denies it, but I'm sticking to ...

From Joseph Nowak Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles? He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging aro...

From Joseph Nowak I bought some of those flavoured condoms the other day. I said to my wife, "Let's play a game. I'll put ...