Some Gags

From Jonesy I've cut down on my drinking, and now only have one vodka before going to bed. Last night I went to ...

From Bliss I bought a mail order bride but I was out when she was delivered so now she’s married to the bloke next do...

From Andertoons I had an audition to become the trumpet player in my local jazz quartet today. Everything was going really well at firs...

From Monster Picnic I silently farted in bed last night and slowly lifted up the duvet. After a few seconds my wife shouted, "What is u...

From JimBenton I tried reading the dictionary in bed last night. I didn't finish it. I got up to p.

From Safely Endangered

From The Odd 1s Out Husband: If I died, would you date another man? Wife: Of course I would. Husband: Would you let him move into our house...

From Bliss How do you tell the difference between a bugler and a burglar? One of them has a bugle. And the other one is really upse...

From Lucas Turn Bloom I shall take you to bed and have my way with you. I shall make you ache, shake and sweat until you moan and groan. I ...

From Bliss Q: What's the friendliest animal in the sea? A: A cuddle-fish.

From Dinos and Comics Wow! What a session that was in the bedroom. I must have burnt off an incredible number of calories. I hate putting th...

From LunarBaboon Yesterday it was so cold that I took my kitten into my bed with me. The poor thing was frozen. I thought I'd thaw a ...

From Rhymes With Orange When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.

From Joe Dator "How would you feel about a threesome?" my wife asked over breakfast this morning. "Wow, that would be amazin...

  From OffTheMark Humans are the animal that finds it hardest to get to sleep (not counting sheep).

From Speedbump My wife and I are looking for someone to play the harmonica while we have sex. No weirdos please.

From Loose Parts If Mary gave birth to baby Jesus and baby Jesus is the Lamb of God, did Mary have a little lamb?

From OffTheMark From The Argyle Sweater I went to an osteopath to sort out my bad posture. I used to think they were all charlatans, bu...

From Speedbump A couple were Christmas shopping. The shopping centre was packed and as the wife walked around, she was surprised to discov...

From Will McPhail I've got a glass of water by the side of my bed. I can't wait to sink my teeth into it.