Some Gags

From OffTheMark Why can keyboards never sleep? Because they have two shifts.

From GoodBearComics Him: I saw you walking your dogs yesterday. Her: They’re not my dogs, they’re my sister’s. H...

From Kendra Allenby I've finally saved up enough for solar panels. What's holding me back is that I...

From OffTheMark Pets only like us because they have Stockholm Syndrome.

From Jonesy Who did the dinosaur call when he was being robbed? The triceracops.

From OffTheMark I don't believe in peer pressure. Unless my friends do.

At the rate he’s going, King Charles could surpass his mother's record of 15 prime ministers before the end of 2026!

From Strange Brew I Like To Count Backwards On Wednesdays   I like to count backwards on Wednesdays, It's so...

From Jonesy I've cut down on my drinking, and now only have one vodka before going to bed. Last night I went to ...

From War and Peas They told me I’d never be any good at poetry because I’m dyslexic but so far I’ve made 2 jugs and a vase! ...

From Scott Metzger Dogs can’t operate MRI machines. Cats can.

From OffTheMark I never thought that I'd be the sort of person who'd wake up early in the morning to exercise. ...

From Rhymes With Orange Him: "We should go out for a coffee sometime." Her: "How about 10 tomorrow?" Him: "...

From OffTheMark When single ladies get to the age of 50, they tend to get lots of dogs and cats. This phenomenon is known as the m...

From Bizarro I've got a lighter with a pink flame at home. I use it to light camp fires.

From smbc My in-laws couldn't cope when their cat unexpectedly had 9 kittens, so my wife told me to put them in a sack and throw them i...

From OffTheMark They threw me out of the cinema yesterday for taking in my own food. But come on, the prices in the cinema foyer are far to...

From Bliss A piece of pumpkin pie costs $2.00 in Jamaica and $2.45 in Barbados. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

From Little Porpoise I saw yet another lost dog roaming the street the other day. I thought, "If only I had a pound for every one o...

From Jonesy As a young child my mother told me that I could be anyone I wanted to be. It turns out, this is called identity theft.