Some Gags

            There's a rumour going round that Spandau Ballet are going to re-rele...

From Buni Comic I am on a diet and my friend asked me how it's going. "Not good", I said, "I had e...

I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg. I said to him, "Even at your age, you really seem to be enjoying that; is this you...

From OffTheMark I got a Travelodge advent calendar this year. All the chocolate is still in it though as you can't get the windows ...

From GoatToSelf I'm not saying my New Year resolutions aren't going very well but I've just finished all my Easter eggs.

From Mark Lynch They say that every piece of chocolate that you eat shortens your life by 2 minutes. I've done the maths. Appar...

  From JimBenton FACT: Saint Valentine was an early Christian martyr who was stoned to death for selling criminally overpriced flowers ...

From Jonesy "My mate has a Quality Street chocolate stuck in his windpipe." "The purple one?" "Yes, that's him....

From Truth Facts A bloke got chatting to a girl in a club. "Can I buy you a drink?" he asked. "Have you not got a girlfriend...

From JimBenton Customer: I'd like to buy a bagel with cream cheese. Me: Sorry, we only take cash. Manager: Can I talk to you?

From Reality Check My Valentine's Day Plans 1. Breakfast in bed 2. Chocolates 3. Watch a romantic film 4. Dinner for two ...

From Bliss I just asked the lady in the newsagents for a Double Decker. She disappeared for ages. Then she brought me three.

How did the hipster burn his mouth from hot chocolate? He drank it before it was cool.

A potato wrapped in tin foil makes an ideal Easter Egg for a vegan.

From JimBenton Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.

A mummy covered in nuts and chocolate has been discovered in Egypt. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher.

From Buni Comic I really upset my wife this morning. As an April Fool's joke, I took all her favourite chocolates and swapped all t...

From Matt Q: What have hairdressers, gyms and the tub of Quality Street in your mum's kitchen cupboard got in common? A: None of th...

From JimBenton

F ro m LunarBaboon