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Showing posts with label cyanide and happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cyanide and happiness. Show all posts
Thursday, 9 October 2025

Catherine Fish

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From Cyanide & Happiness Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
Tuesday, 9 September 2025

A Child Fell Into A Well

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From Cyanide & Happiness A strangler is just a fiend you haven't met yet.
Thursday, 7 August 2025

Head Support

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From Cyanide & Happiness After her son turned 10 years old his mother started to think that he looked a little strange so she did ...
Monday, 7 July 2025

Bowling Ball Impression

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From Cyanide & Happiness What does a vegetable get in bowling? A-spare-I-guess.
Friday, 30 May 2025

Security

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From Cyanide & Happiness I sell security alarms door to door and I'm really good at it. If no-one is at home I just leave ...
Wednesday, 29 January 2025

Talking To Parents

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From Cyanide & Happiness I always loved my mum's parents, Pearl and Dean. Of course, I knew them as Granny and Grandpapa-p'...
Thursday, 14 November 2024

Gotto Do The Admin

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From Cyanide & Happiness I'm not bothered that it takes so long to get an appointment to see my doctor. Because, it gives me m...
Friday, 20 September 2024

Today's Special

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From Cyanide & Happiness I just placed an order at my local Chinese takeaway. I'm going to try the sweet and sour badger with the s...
Friday, 17 May 2024

Horsing Around

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From Cyanide & Happiness 100 years ago, everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has a car and only the rich ...
Tuesday, 7 November 2023

Miss-ile

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From Cyanide & Happiness I wonder if Chinese tourists get upset when they buy a souvenir from London and then find it was made in China...
Tuesday, 3 October 2023

Competitive Orgy

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From Cyanide & Happiness I feel a bit overdressed at this premature ejaculation support group. I've worn jeans and a shirt, ev...
Monday, 28 August 2023

Aeroplane

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From Cyanide & Happiness I've designed an aeroplane made entirely from rubber, so if it crashed, it would bounce. It's a b...
Friday, 24 February 2023

The Ballad Of Railroad Man

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From Cyanide & Happiness
Monday, 16 January 2023

End Of The Sentence

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From Cyanide & Happiness Cumin, coriander, cardamom, and turmeric – spices needed to make an Oxford Korma.
Friday, 2 December 2022

And Then There's Champagne

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From Cyanide & Happiness I asked 100 women what their favourite shampoo was. The top response was... "What are you doing i...
Friday, 28 October 2022

Climate Change Activists

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From Cyanide & Happiness How well did Jackson Pollock do in art class? He passed it with flying colours.
Monday, 8 August 2022

Unnatural

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From Cyanide & Happiness A UFO landed in the Vatican and the friendly Aliens were greeted by the pope. Pope: What a great honour ha...
Wednesday, 8 June 2022

Whatever You're Into

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From Cyanide & Happiness Because he felt crummy!
Monday, 4 April 2022

Behind Your Ear

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From Cyanide & Happiness Working at the Job Centre has to be a tense job - knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in...
Friday, 4 February 2022

Emotional Search

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From Cyanide & Happiness What do you call a sexually harassed robot? R2#metoo