Some Gags

From smbc When does a joke become a dad joke? When it's fully groan.

From TheArgyleSweater Last night my wife sent me a text, saying she was in casualty. When I got home, I watched all 50 minutes of it – I di...

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human beca...

Jack decided to tie the knot with his long-time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his golf shoes; his wife ...

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and n...

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "W...

Father Norton wakes up to a beautiful and sunny Sunday morning and decides he just has to play golf. He pretends he's sick and convi...

The first rule of tautology club is the first rule of tautology club. When I was a kid my English teacher looked in my direction and sa...

   

Three cheers for rap music. Hip hop . . . hooray Hip hop . . . hooray Hip hop . . . hooray Who can tell you what will happen t...

Two Glaswegians, Archie and Jimmy, are sitting in the pub discussing Jimmy's forthcoming wedding. "Och, it's all goin' pu...

A Manchester United fan goes into a travel agents and says, "I'm looking for a weekend away in England, but I don't know where...

1st woman:     Hi, Wanda! 2nd woman:    Hi, Sylvia!  How'd you die?   1st woman:     I froze to death. ...

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5lb potato sack in each hand, extend your ar...

Woman: Do you drink beer? Man: Yes Woman: How many beers a day? Man: Usually about 3 Woman: ...

"The Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday." This announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantag...

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife !" That won ...

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically...

What deep thinkers men are. I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, ...

Brenda make an appointment to see her doctor, because she is worried about her husband's bad temper. Doctor Thomas asks: "What'...