Monday 27 March 2017

Buy Her Candy Or Some Flowers Or A Brand New Hat


 
 
 
Tom Lehrer - Oedipus Rex
 
From the Bible to the popular song
There's one theme that we find right along
Of all ideals they hail as good
The most sublime is motherhood

There was a man though, who it seems
Once carried this ideal to extremes
He loved his mother and she loved him
And yet his story is rather grim

There once lived a man named Oedipus Rex
You may have heard about his odd complex
His name appears in Freud's index
'Cause he loved his mother

His rivals used to say quite a bit
That as a monarch he was most unfit
But still in all they had to admit
That he loved his mother

Yes, he loved his mother like no other
His daughter was his sister and his son was his brother
One thing on which you can depend is,
He sure knew who a boy's best friend is

When he found what he had done
He tore his eyes out, one by one
A tragic end to a loyal son
Who loved his mother

So be sweet and kind to mother
Now and then have a chat
Buy her candy or some flowers
Or a brand new hat
But maybe you had better let it go at that

Or you may find yourself with a quite complex complex
And you may end up like Oedipus
I'd rather marry a duck-billed platypus
Than end up like old Oedipus Rex

Tuesday 14 March 2017

Tripping


What's great about living in Switzerland?
Well the flag is a big plus.

Just ate a frozen apple. Hardcore.

Bought a litre of Tipp-Ex yesterday. Huge mistake.

Last night I went to a comedy and philosophy convention. I laughed more than I thought.

Just watched a wildlife documentary on beavers. Best dam programme I've seen in a long time.

I stole a rabbit today. Then I had to make a run for it.

My wife told me I was a fool to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta.

I was walking the dogs the other day when all of a sudden they vanished into thin air. Not sure where they went, but I've got some leads.

Did you know that owls can't breed in the rain? It's too wet to woo.

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.  I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.

I told my girlfriend that she'd drawn her eyebrows on to high.  She seemed surprised.

Why did Star Wars episodes 4, 5 and 6 come before 1, 2 and 3?
Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.