Benefits Of Working From Home

From Dilbert

Stay Safe While Crossing To The Dark Side

Darth Vader was played by Green Cross Code man, but his voice was replaced by James Earl Jones, when he tried to sneak in the line 'Stop, Luke, and listen!' - Gary Delaney

Black Friday Deal

From Cyanide & Happiness

Measuring Time

From Moderately Confused

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Old Man Masks

From Close To Home

A man takes his wife to get tested. Two days later, he gets a call from the lab.

Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you that your wife's test results were mixed up with another patient's. We're not sure if she has COVID-19 or Alzheimer's disease.

Man: So, what am I supposed to do now?

Doctor: Take her for a long walk and leave her. If she finds her way back home, don't open the door.

Countdown

From Matt

Q: What have hairdressers, gyms and the tub of Quality Street in your mum's kitchen cupboard got in common?

A: None of them are allowed to be opened until December.

Weighty Issues

From JimBenton

I've given up drinking until Christmas.

Whoops, bad punctuation.

I've given up. Drinking until Christmas.

Eye Test

From GoatToSelf

COVID-19 Arrangements For Christmas

There will be no nativity this year because:

- the 3 Wise Men face a travel ban

- the shepherds have been furloughed

- the inn keeper has shut under tier 3 regulations and had a slump in bookings.

Santa won't be working as he would break the rule of 6 with Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Donner and Blitzen.

As for Rudolph, with that red nose, he should be isolating and taking a test.

Pandemic Meetups

From Bizarro

Me: Alexa, what's the weather going to be this weekend?

Alexa: Why? Where do you think you're going?

Premature Nostalgia

From Liniers Cartoon

Today marks 5 years that we've been in 2020

Christening

I went to my first socially distanced christening this morning

 

Mindfulness

From GoatToSelf

Garden centres to remain open during lockdown, as they're famously quiet in the run-up to Christmas and mainly attract young people. - HIGNFY

A Reminder From Bruce

It was a quiet Monday morning in September 2053, when John awoke with a need to go to the bathroom. To John this wasn't just any ordinary day! This was the day he would open the last package of toilet paper his parents bought in the year 2020.

Halloween Goodies